Josh & Justin
Our church is doing its first ever church-wide discipleship program.
It sounded cool until I started reading the book…
I’m not going to lie.
Reading chapter one and my eyes glazed over.
Nothing was sticking.
Nothing was connecting.
I wasn’t “getting” it.
“Oh no! This is a long book and I don’t even understand the first couple of pages.”
I was struggling and here I am a leader who is suppose to lead others through the book.
I narrowed my struggle down to a few reasons:
My head hadn’t been right since being sick, so maybe I was struggling with brain fog?
Maybe the book was poorly written (which I had a hard time believing since we love the pastor who wrote it and think he’s brilliant).
Maybe I was having a spiritual block and the enemy didn’t want the words to sink in?
Or maybe I am just not a very good christian?
Ooh…that last one.
Can you hear the enemy speaking???
“Get her discouraged enough to quit before she even starts and then make her feel bad about it…you know she’ll withdraw…”
That resonate with anyone?
When we got together with our group to discuss, I was feeling discouraged and not looking forward to it because I felt like that kid showing up for class but had just found out she read the wrong book.
Anyone else done that? Just me?
Others were so excited. Why was my experience so different?
I read the same words as them.
What was wrong with me?
But I showed up, trusting the process and knowing the wisdom and faith in the room.
As we were wrapping up, Justin read a few paragraphs and our friend Josh strummed his guitar.
I don’t know if it was the gentle chords in the background or the way Justin emphasized certain words and took his time reading, but all of a sudden, I got it.
The chapter made sense.
It wasn’t the book, it was me!
I sat back laughing, wondering how Justin and Josh would respond when I asked them to read the rest of the book to me just like this, guitar and all.
And wow! No wonder everyone was moved by this chapter. It was about our identity in Christ!
Thank goodness I didn’t quit and withdraw because the richness I would have missed had I listened to the lies.
How many times have you quit because of discouragement or shame?
What did you miss out on?
I normally don’t offer advice, but if you’re struggling like I was, slow down. Grab a friend. Keep moving forward. Ask God for clarity.
And, if you can, find you a Josh and a Justin and see if that helps.
Worked for me!
