In The Bleachers (pt. 2)
Another God download while sitting in the bleachers watching my beautiful daughter compete at States.
She wasn’t having her strongest meet and here’s what was going through my mind watching her…
My heart breaks for her because I see her struggling. But there she stands. Strong. With her head up and shoulders back, even though I know she’s disappointed.
My heart swells for her. She is a sight to behold. Truly.
Is this how God feels looking at us. Just mesmerized by our beauty? In awe of our strength in the face of difficulties? Proud that we can hold our heads up high even though we live in a world that tries in every way to break us down?
Does His heart swell like mine did when my daughter and I locked eyes and made heart shapes towards each other? A conversation just between the two of us, unspoken, across a huge gym. How much it meant to me that she searched the stands just for me even with everything going on around her. My heart swells knowing I could let her know that I see her, am there for her, and am her biggest fan. How much more it meant that she let me know my presence matters to her. That I matter to her.
Does His eyes start to water when He sees us finally succeed in something we’ve struggled with? Does He want to bust out of His skin and shout for joy when we “get it”?
Aubyn just did her routine and a part that’s been difficult - she nailed. She stuck the landing and I about exploded. Was her score great? No. But did she make progress from the last meet? Heck yes and I am so stinking proud of her.
I can’t help but imagine God cheering us on in the same way saying, “I know that’s been so hard for you and you’ve really struggled with that. Look at how far you’ve come! Look at what you’ve overcome! I am so proud of you and can not wait to give you a huge hug and celebrate!”
Do you know that God? Do you know the God that cries at your heartbreak and frustration? Who holds His breath when you bobble or fall? Who cheers at your wins? Who is always seeking you from across a great divide just so He can lock eyes with you to let you know He sees you? You matter to Him? That he’s sending you little love signs all the time, but He just needs you to be looking in His direction to see it?
Oh that I can always remember that God is my biggest fan and wants me to search for Him in the bleachers for the heart sign He is making just for me. His cheers are the only ones that matter.
*** FYI, turns out, after all was said and done, that she did better than she thought. The competition was stiffer, so relatively speaking she didn’t do as well as others, but she set her own personal record! Her highest all-around score of the season! And we definitely cheered for that!!!
