Failurism

“you live as though you will always fail and be rejected, and it becomes your way of life.”

Failurism: The state of continually walking in past sins, mistakes, and the rejection that came from those areas where you previously failed. You live as though you will always fail and be rejected, and it becomes your way of life. - Anointed to Win p. 5

Wow.

I have listened to Liberty Turnipseed since the lockdowns and she was a life raft during those dark days. She helped me start to get not only my spiritual house in order, but also my physical self.

In August, I heard her mention a book of hers. I’m sure she’s mentioned it a thousand times, but this day I heard it. I had never donated to her before and I figured buying her book was an easy way to support a ministry that fed me for 3 years. I had no clue what the book was about or if I’d even read it. But I bought it.

And then I read it.

And then the tears came.

You’d think reading these posts that I cry all the time, but I promise you I don’t. My life is good. We are in calm seas right now and I am grateful for the season we are in. But this book wrecked me.

I am not a highlighter or note taker by nature. What’s the point? Its not like I’m going to come back to it in my free time and re-read it. But this book. Whew. I could not read this book without underlining. It was kind of embarrassing and I just prayed Justin didn’t pick up the book and see what a mess I was.

Who underlines “the demon’s end result is to keep you complacent and frustrated so you can never move forward to accomplish all that Christ has called you to perform…”?

But I knew that was me. It resonated so strongly and you don’t cry over things that don’t ring true for you. I know that I have been so scared of failure and rejection in so many areas of my life that I didn’t even try. If you don’t try, you can’t fail. Right?

I have known there is more for me, that God wants more for me, but there has been a block.

Ever had someone say, “The good news is it’s you. The bad news is it’s you.”?

Yeah. Me to a T.

I have “potential”. I know I am smart and love people and am capable of so much more, but I get in my stinking way over and over and over again.

Why???

Enter this book for the answers and the solution. It wasn’t until I read her words that my block on truly hearing God was lifted. It’s like all the cotton was taken out of my ears and my eyes were opened.

And if you look at the book, it is clear the enemy did not want me to read it. The book did not show up looking like this! Indie, for the first time ever, went into my backpack and pulled out only this book and chewed it. Seriously! How crazy is that? If you believe in spiritual warfare like I do, you know there was more to this than meets the eye.

I kept reading, dog marks and all, and things changed.

In the beginning, I read through tears and fear. Then I started to see things for what they were and things started to click. Now, things are different. Am I still scared of messing up? Of course! I’m human. But it’s different. I can’t really explain it other than to say I feel as if I am walking with a new authority where failing isn’t possible.

My prayer for my kids is for them to grow into the man and women God created them to be. Same goes for me and I’m just going to go ahead and claim that. God created me for a reason and I feel as if I am finally stepping into that.