Not A Nun!
“Please God. Please, please, please, PLEEEEEEASE don’t call me to be a nun. Amen.”
This is an actual prayer I said as a middle schooler during one of our school masses.
I guess non-Catholics don’t have experiences like this, but I did and I remember it vividly:
Situated between two of my classmates, kneeling in my white blouse and blue pleated skirt, fingers interlaced inward because I hated my fingers, staring up at the 1970s version of a crucified Jesus behind the altar.
Growing up Catholic, God calling you meant one of two things - you were either going to be a priest or a nun - and I was not excited about these options.
Ashley, Donna and I afterwards in the upper-school girls’ pink-tiled bathroom teased each other…
“You’re going to be a nun.”
“No. You’re going to be a nun.”
“Shut up.”
“No, you shut up.”
Us Catholic girls were hard core in our burns.
These were two of my besties and we were joking around, but seriously, none of us wanted to be nuns.
I begged God to not call me, and I mean BEGGED.
Fast forward to 2010…
I’m sitting with Justin in his room as he told me about his interview with the Middle Tennessee Conference to be a locally licensed pastor for the Methodist Church.
I was so excited to hear that it went well and that he was going to be placed in a church. He had a job! He was going to be a pastor and I…
Wait a minute…
Wait…
(Reality sinking in).
Well I’ll be…
You stinker.
I see what you’re doing here God.
You heard my prayers to not be a nun, but you’re going to have your way regardless what I think, aren’t you???
Even though I didn’t want to be a nun, I felt, even at a young age, Him calling me to something, I just couldn’t fathom what.
In my young mind, a nun was my only frame of reference. That wasn’t going to work for me since I wanted to be married and have a family and nuns don’t have either! But God, you knew that. And in your graciousness and gentleness, you are about to give me a husband to do ministry with. What?!?!
Is this what you were calling me to? Not a nun?!?!
There is a different way to be called?!?!
It blew my mind.
A pastor’s wife is a ministry and I was going to be stepping into that role in just a few short months. I was not ready for that either, but that’s a whole other story.
Looking back, it still amazes me how gently God pursued me and called me forward.
I wasn’t a very good pastor’s wife, but I learned a lot during that season. There are things I wish I could have done differently, but I didn’t know what I didn’t know and hadn’t matured in my faith yet. I loved the people (most of them), but God was still trying to get ahold of me.
And now, after getting ahold of me, here we are shepherding a flock of amazing men and women out of our home for our bigger church and here I am sharing all the embarrassing yet meaningful moments God has used in my life.
I think I can speak with certainty that Justin is grateful I was not called to be a nun, but to be his wife and to do life with him! We’ve created four beautiful children who we pray will all be warriors and will answer God’s call on their lives. Fortunately, I don’t think any of them will be called to be priests or nuns, but as I have learned, there are a million and four other ways God can call them and I can not wait to see what it is!
